Unplugging From Your Ex - Avoiding Emotional Minefields

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Now that has been a bit more than a month I see how much energies I have for me. I started dating a girl now, sweet and kind , and I see how hard it is for me to trust someone that really likes me. We can blame the narcisistic ex for what he did. Or we can ask ourself why we loved being beaten up all the time.

I'm not a therapist. Everything you wrote here should be shown to a good therapist who can help you sort out all of these issues. I can tell you that one of the things my ex used to bug me about constantly was my weight. It was her contention that if I loved her I would lose weight. It got so bad I was afraid to eat in front of her.

I was a nervous wreck, when I hadn't been before. It was never an issue in my other relationships. I know now to walk away from anyone who tries to control how I look or feel about myself. I also know that I come from a family full of angry, controlling women. Because of this energy in my background I would get caught up and consumed with relationships with angry, controlling women.

That is my theme and I know what to look for, and what to avoid. This man played on your insecurities and pushed all your buttons. It wasn't about other women, it was about making you feel bad. Narcissists get high from the attention they get when they hurt someone. It's creepy but true. If the answer is no, then don't look back. Look forward to a future with men who treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve. Hi Wendy, I read your article and found it so insightful and helpful.

I'm still working on healing from my separation and divorce from my ex, who I was with for 9 years. I had been with him for my entire adult life from 18 to 27 , and even though it was my decision to separate and divorce, the loss and guilt I felt was excruciating. I don't even know how to classify his behavior over the years, but finally I had enough and couldn't stand it anymore. From the beginning, he was always looking at other women, talking about other women looking hot or fit, and when I would get upset, he would tell me that he thought I was mature enough to have these kind of normal adult conversations.

He once, early on in our relationship, told me that all men look at other women and imagine having sex with them. That was so upsetting for me, but he just told me I was being immature. He was always "testing" me, because he believed I had jealousy issues, and so he would make comments about women specifically to "test" my "maturity". I know this, because he admitted to it. He said he wanted to "push" me to get over my jealousy issues - my jealousy "issues" only started because of him looking at other women, and making me feel like I couldn't trust him!

I lost trust in him early on, but didn't want to admit it to myself, and I kept hoping he would change, that he would finally understand and care about my feelings, that he would treat me as I treat him - with love, respect, and complete faithfulness. But maybe when trust is gone, at a certain point it can never be repaired or regained.

Those issues started early on in our 9 year relationship, within the first years, and he remained the same throughout - we would have arguments about him being overly familiar, in my opinion, with other women, and he would call me jealous, paranoid, crazy, controlling, irrational, and untrusting. And I would vacillate back and forth - is he right? Am I being controlling and jealous and causing issues in our relationship? Or am I right and he needs to change. I would almost always end up agreeing with him that I need to work on being more understanding, less distrustful.

But these issues kept coming up because I guess I knew that it wasn't right. In the last year of our relationship, he was driving a girl home from work late at night, and he didn't even tell me about it at first. We went out for dinner with this female colleague of his one night, along with two other friends, and then my ex volunteered me and him to drive his female colleague home.

Well, to my shock, my ex knew the way to her house. Once she was out of the car, I asked him how he knew the way, and he told me that he'd driven her home from work a couple of times because she didn't have transport. I was so upset - I would be waiting at home for him, because he was working very late hours, and he'd be driving home another woman and not even telling me about it. Of course he told me I was being crazy, ridiculous, jealous, possessive, etc, and said there was nothing wrong with it, and he continued to drive her home on occasion even though I was upset about it.

I had such tension about his friendship with this female colleague of his that I ended up having a panic attack at the gym and had to be given oxygen on the floor of the gym. And one of the people working out at the gym happened to be a doctor and so he came over to assist, and he went downstairs to the gym cafe to get some honey to give to me to raise my blood sugar. I was crying and still gasping a bit, and so he kindly and sincerely fed me the honey spoon by spoon, and that made me cry more because this random man was more caring for me in that moment than I felt my ex was being.

I just heaved a big sigh, because I thought I was over all this - the panic attack happened in roughly May , we separated in September , and the divorce paperwork went through in May But maybe I am still struggling - I don't think about him as much anymore, I don't ruminate as much about the pain he caused me, but I struggled for a long time with anger and resentment about what he put me through and him continuing to believe that I was the one in the wrong, that I had the controlling and jealousy issues that caused us so many fights over the years.

Another incident with that female colleague: at a work party, she leaned across him to say something to me, and she rested her hand at the very top of his thigh as she did so. I was so shocked and I confronted him when we left the party He laughed because he thought I was being, once again in his words crazy, jealous, irrational, and he claimed to have not even noticed her put her hand on his leg. He didn't believe me at first. I didn't believe him that he didn't feel it, and even if he didn't notice it, what does that mean other than that they clearly were comfortable with each other in a way that most work colleagues of the opposite gender are not.

I felt angry at him for a long time, but then got back in touch with him recently to say hi, and I feel like I am not fully allowing myself to move forward - as he has so clearly done. Do you have any thoughts on what I have said with regards to my situation? How would you categorize what I went through with my ex? And how I do heal fully - because I don't feel truly healed, and not at all certain of my ability to "ward off" similarly "abusive" relationships. And was he abusive to me? In an emotional sense? He was always criticizing what I wore, how I looked, telling me to get this waxed, to wear this, to fix my hair or makeup this way, and whenever I put up resistance, he would tell me that I didn't care about looking good for him.

He would tell me that all women care about these things and about looking good for their man. This was so upsetting to me because I did and do make an effort to look nice, and it hurt to feel like he rarely saw that, that he only ever had criticism for me, that I was never "good enough" so to speak.

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He would comment on other women passing by, and say "look at what she's wearing, you should wear something like that" - and I always felt compared to other women, and always coming up lacking. I don't know why I stayed in the relationship for so long, except to say that I loved him in an all-consuming way, and we did everything together. But I always felt that I came second to his mom, and perhaps tied in importance with his friends. So along with the criticism, and him looking at and talking about and acting inappropriately with other women, he was also putting me in the position of resenting his mother for ALWAYS taking priority - she was even calling him during our honeymoon to discuss a family matter, and yet I was the one in the wrong when I got upset about it.

I was the one who was being possessive and not understanding. I just wanted our honeymoon to be about us, to for once not have his mom "around", even via phone. I sorry for the trouble you are in. I don't know enough about your situation to offer any concrete advice. Do you have your own job? Do you make your money? If not, you should start. Every woman should have her own emergency fund, so that if she gets in a bad situation, she has the money to move. You can go to the bank on your own and set up a private account in your name only, and don't tell him about it.

He can only imprison you if you allow it. I am also assuming he is not physically violent, if he is then please call your local domestic abuse hotline for resources. If you do have your own money, then wait until he goes to work, and move out and don't leave any contact info. You can always replace the stuff later - I know because I've been there.

I'm assuming no kids are involved. I've recommended to many who have written here: Find a CoDA meeting Codependents Anonymous you can look online for one in your area. You will find a community of supportive people that are also trying to break free of toxic relationships. No matter how embarrassing the situation, this guy needs reporting so that he will eventually be exposed. When this happens, all the women that he has behaved badly towards, will hopefully come forward and this will either force him out of practice or force him to operate ethically.

Safe to say there was no such offer of even a partial refund. Only wish that I could name him, but this would start libel action on his part. Must add that when a complaint is made to a trade association that a therapist has joined voluntarily, the therapist can not then claim liable against the complainant.

Some trade associations make complaints about therapists public, some do not, but it is always worth complaining, because it has the potential to change the therapist's unsafe behaviour and save others from unpleasant situations. At the very least, it let my therapist know that I would not tolerate his unethical breach of confidentiality or threats.

Should also add that there is a guy out there who advertises his therapeutic services for women victims, who himself is narcissistic. Unfortunately, I came across him. He is pretty much advertising for co-dependents. He happily takes money for work that he has no intention of performing. His modus operandi is that he takes an overly long personal history to ensure that you are a suitable client. If you are like me and you might pose a danger to him by standing up for yourself, he then takes your money and agrees to work with you.

However, when you ring to book an appointment he will prevaricate time and time again. When he has had enough, he will then turn around and threaten you and say that you have been harassing him, he claimed to have shown my private notes to third parties and made a veiled threat to the tune of: 'You have made me feel uncomfortable and I am going to make you pay'. I immediately turned to the Clinic for Boundary Studies, who said that I should report him to his trade association.

Which I did. The head of the association was completely dismissive. Then I received a letter saying that I was being investigated for a social security claim, this was dated 2 days after this guy had threatened me, it seemed too much of a coincidence. I contacted the trade association again, this time a different guy dealt with me, I described what had happened without mentioning the therapist's name, to my surprise the guy on the other end of the 'phone was able to name this guy.

He went on to say that despite practising over miles away from the rogue therapist, he had, had 2 very traumatized women pass through his practice that had similar stories. He said that he had personally tried to tackle the rogue therapist, but that this had resulted in a slew of threatening solicitors letters. The trade association was made to realize that they needed to tackle this guy. They did their best to do this, but he refused to abide by their procedures and they revoked his membership.

He started his own trade association, from which I understand he was forced to step down and he started his own training school, but I have been told that he had some serious disagreement with a number of his trainers, whom he simply sacked. Put it this way, the head of his trade association describes him as a dick who has pissed off too many people to continue operating to the same degree in his country, so he has gone international. Whoah, watch out world! Just thought it was an interesting approach to narcissistic supply, to actually advertise for potential victims.

But on a serious note, I heard that a psychologist described this guy's behaviour as antitherapeutic, I would concur, I would also say that if any woman gets into a sticky situation, with a therapist that sounds like this, then for goodness sake report it. My ex, narc or not, was charming at first, which I believe is the pattern with narcs; after all how else would they attract anyone in the first place.

When these sort of characters turn, the behaviour is kind of difficult to believe, the victim probably thinks it is something that they have done wrong. When one of these characters are called out on their behaviour, sure they will appear to behave perfectly, for a while. But, since the victim has allowed their personal boundaries to be transgressed once it is never too long before it is happening again and again.

The victim is invariably trying to get back the charming person they fell in love with. There is some biological basis to this.

13 Ways On How To Emotionally Detach From Someone

Years ago some research was done with animals, I think it was pressing a lever for a reward. They set it up 2 different ways. The animals with varying awards pressed the lever a greater number of times than those getting a fixed award. There have been some comparisons drawn to people in jobs and the same appears to hold true there too. Certainly, I feel that this model would explain the destructive hold that gambling holds over some individuals.

It could also explain why victims who are free to leave their abusers continue to stay. The variability of the reward, possibly makes the reward more desirable. Not so in my case. I just got the hell out. Eventually, I was able to move and the courts put a stop to contact. We now live in hiding. I"m sorry we don't agree about co-dependents. But I stick by my assertion that co-dependents are very much attached to approval from toxic partners. Which is why so many of us stay in long-term relationships with a Narc.

They are even more unpleasant and dangerous than your average Narcissist. I resent the way in which the term co-dependent is used. I was with my narc ex for nine and a half years and everything was fine until I gave birth to our son, over eight and a half years in. Then all hell broke loose, because he resented the attention a small baby took away from him. We went to 3 different relationship counsellors: 1 told him he needed to get off his online games, roll up his sleeves and pitch in and be supportive we did not go back to her because he said she bullied him; 2 was a guy who told him much the same we did not return as my ex thought that the therapist fancied me ; 3 started to get somewhere, she figured out that he was a narcissist and that he would not change, so she persuaded him that perhaps he should leave me and set up with his secret squeeze.

This at least gave me the break from domestic abuse that I needed to start divorce proceedings. I object to the term co-dependent, because it somehow implies that I was a willing participant in my own abuse. I was not, I was more like a hostage, trying to placate a terrifying terrorist in my own home. He used to be on his computer until the early hours of the morning, I would be asleep and he would force himself upon me and if I dared object, he would choke and hit me. His excuse for this behaviour was that I had gained weight during my pregnancy and had stretch marks and he no longer found me attractive.

He used to lock me in the house when he went to work. As my child was a baby and I was no longer working he thought that entitled him to behave as he wanted to. The therapist said that the only way he would leave would be on his terms, as this is the way of the narcissist. His parents, unfortunately, persuaded him to stay. What he did not know was that I bugged the household computer, I came home to discover no positive attempts to resolve our problems, but lots of time emailing other women, going on match.

It was not going to change, I told him he needed to stop locking me in for safety reasons and secretly started divorce proceedings. I stopped trying to be the person he wanted and when he started all the threats to leave I told him he knew where the door was. He went for it and I asked where he was going so I could start divorce proceedings, he said he did not know. He left and returned a few weeks later on the pretext of collecting belongings, I asked again for his address so that I could start proceedings. He refused saying if I did not know his address I could not divorce him, I told him that I would have the papers served on him at his workplace, he tried to run me over.

Shortly after this, I received a 'phone call from the other woman, she wanted me to take him back to stop him pestering her. So obviously, it had not worked with the other woman and that is why he did not want a divorce. I did divorce him, it was hell, the judge did not believe how bad he was and said that I had indulged in an exercise in hyperbole and allowed him unsupervised access to our son. He hid money in a trust fund which meant I had to sell up, his behaviour, together with the fact that our son was diagnosed with a developmental disorder with which he was no help whatsoever , meant that I moved miles away to where my parents live.

He was unhappy about this, we tried to offer him a pattern of contact that would be more convenient all round, but he refused to compromise in the interests of our son. It went back to court and they put a stop to contact. He has since messed me and our son around with maintenance payments, because he would rather pay for the new wife and his 4 stepchildren, than his disabled son and me who has given in my career to take on the whole responsibility. Has not worked out so well for him though.

In December , the police contacted my parents, worried about my safety. After establishing that I was OK, I was asked to contact another police force. They had arrested him and charged him with domestic abuse and he had been bailed. During the course of the police investigations, more serious evidence came to light and bail was rescinded and he spent 3 weeks on remand. Unfortunately, the new wife rescinded her statement and the Crown Prosecution Service dropped the case.

My point is that using the term co-dependant is demeaning to the victims of narcissists, because no one would consciously choose to be in this position; in actual fact many people are trying to escape such partners. The fact that narcs are particularly nasty and difficult to deal with is not the victim's fault and the demeaning language around this is perpetrating a dysfunctional narrative.

I really appreciate your post. It really helped me. I am in a relationship going on 4 years it has been toxic from the start and is only getting worse. My partner is most definitely a narcissist on many levels. I am looking for advice on how to leave without being sucked back in again we live together and he controls everything i no longer have a support system and I don't really have any family members to help me he plays that card a lot i just know at this point I need to get out of this house I'm slowly losing my self again!

All I know is that I am not able to be myself I have to be what he needs all the time and he constantly criticizes and disrespects me. Thank you for your wisdom and insight and for pointing me in the right direction with your recommendations on what books to read.

My narcissits partner is in the process of leaving. We were together for five years. Even from the beginning i knew this man had no empathy, everything was about him. Resolving problems in our relationship was never about having a loving conversation where we listened respectfully to each other to help each other sort things out It was about name calling pointing the finger and blaming me.

His nastiness, he would say if i didnt do the things i did he wouldnt get angry and shout. I came from a family where you spoke when you were spoken to and my father was abusive to my mum. I had carried the trait of withdrawing into my adult hood which i told him and he said i was just ignorant. But my ex partner did not want to know the why's and my feelings didnt matter as they werent relevant. He is in the process of leaving and i should have finished the relationship a very long time ago because any feelings i had for this man he destroyed with how he treated me. I loved this article i have had tears but i am choosing me :.

I'm glad my personal experience could help. The cool thing is Namaste, and good luck on your journey. Sometimes you don't realise the weight of something you've been carrying, until you feel the weight of its release. Three months out of a seven year relationship with a narcissist I am four weeks into counselling and can tell you that your article is the first thing that has given me the hope that I WILL get well and come out the other end of this nightmare!

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I know you both are in a difficult place, but you've done the right thing by leaving your Narcissist. Those relationships are exhausting, demeaning and never get better. Stick with no contact, and start pursuing your own interests and dreams. Make new friends and I guarantee a year from now you'll be well on your way to having your sanity and life back. Good luck to both of you! I am just realising I have been in a relationship with a toxic narcissist. Im three months out of a 2 year relationship with a woman that you have just described in this atricle to an exact T and I just want to say thank you for sharing this.

It is given me a glimpse of hope that I will someday be able to feel like a human being again as I have been numb inside now for so long in dealing with this kind of person. I left the relationship and ended up sleeping on a hard wooden floor for a month and then technically homeless because of her, but I managed to pull myself out of this and even now she has been trying to lure me back in. Thank you for giving me some hope that this nightmare will end eventually. Honestly, thank you. Thank you for the post and courage to take care of yourself instead of allowing your life to keep slipping away.

It is important to accept the responsibility we have in this situation Last month, i finally had the ah-ha moment - the one that was the catalyst to leave - for good. It was because of the Weinstein accusations The last 10 years have been a miserable battle. They were years of taking care of his needs, dealing with his selfishness, drunken rants, his moods, his schedules, his preferences and apologizing over and over for all the "hurtful things" i did to him.

Read that again Every thing wrong that every happened was my fault. It is the same story as others who have been through this nightmare. I am scared to be alone now but it has to happen. My life and heart can't suffer anymore. I wish everyone the best is moving past the utter devastation Nobody can destroy you without your permission. Please see if you can't get into a therapy group where you can meet others struggling with the same issues. CoDA - Codpendent's Anonymous has groups all over the country. There is life after your Narc. Please don't give up or give in. I do not want to socialize or meet other people because I only attract narcs friends or narc partners.

I left my job because I worked with my ex narc after he suggested that i have to work make money and help him and his new supply raise their comming kids. Not having a work or friends or family makes it so hard for me to see future but thinking maybe i should be their doormatt because I am just a wreck.

Reader Interactions

No good for nothing or anyone. His goal to destroy me worked out. This was one of the best articles on NPD. I am just starting the recovery process after a 21 year marriage. There are no words to describe the insanity of these people or the level of narcissistic abuse through silence, lies, gaslighting, cheating etc I have two children with this sick, sick man and thank God, although it took this long to get away, I have educated my children as he was diagnosed NPD, BPD in I always thought it was passive aggressive disorder but he is a Covert Somatic Narcissist.

He is Malignant and the level of deception that had been going on in the last 21 years of my marriage is frightening. Too much for me to go into but there were full other lives with other people and so much more. Thankfully, I am at the end and should be divorced within a few weeks but he continues to try to control as much as he can. The best thing I did for myself was educate me and the girls.

This was my saving grace reading articles such as this. People with this disorder are so toxic and should be removed from your life as quickly as possible. I took 17 years to figure out what this person was doing. Narcissism is NOT curable.. They will chew through your life and you will not know what is happening to you.

Then discard you years before you even know you have been discarded. Anyone that is reading this amazing article please listen to the writer if you are still in a relationship with a Narcissist, please also see the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse. Educate yourself as much as possible and get help to get away as quickly as possible. They are devoid of love, apathetic and cruel. You are just a source of supply to a narcissist. Narcissist objectify people so their victims are for their usage only. They are deceptive, fraud, con-artists and could care less about you or your children.

Con means "Confident" which is what they do. They gain your confidence through the idolization phase of their cycle of abuse and then start ever so slowly devaluing you. You don't even know it's happening. You just know that something is very wrong but can't figure it out. Listen to this writer and heed the warning.

Educate yourself, seek therapy to get out as quickly as possible from this very Covert Abusive nightmare! Omg, your story about the holidays is so strikingly similar to my brief encounter or relationship with a Narc. He did the same thing, he invited me to a family bbq and I got all dolled up showed up and he took 1 look at me like I was street trash and ignored me the whole time. The night before he was calling me his gf? I wondered wtf did I do?!

This all explains it. I was only with him for 2 months and it messed me right up. I get it now. Wow that story just hit so close to home. I actually kinda laughed because its so silly that we would think the issue is with US. Counseling is always best. See if there are any support groups for kids. Al-Anon might be able to give you a lead. Narcissism is very similar to addict behavior.

So, believe it or not, 12 step programs are also effective for those dealing with Narcissists. Sending you and your son healing energy. I lived with a Narcissist for 25 years. Finally left 6 months ago. My son is the one dealing with his Dad. I keep telling him that his dad is not well. Alex is depressed and I want to help him.

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I need to forgive myself for staying so long in this toxic relationship. Any suggestions to help me with Alex? I have been living this nightmare for over 15 years. I am exhausted. I finally had the atomic blast. It only been two days. I need to be strong and never return. Thank you for your wonderful article. No one could understand why I kept going back. You explained so well. I'm so happy my experience has helped you if only to let you know you're not alone. You're not. I'm sorry you've had to go through such bad experiences, but the bad experiences really do bring us closer to loving ourselves more, raising our standards - and have some much-needed peace and sanity.

I'm sending healing energy to all of you. Great article the manipulating way he used to twist things to make him look good finally over now just to close that chapter in my life and begin a new one thankyou for sharing. Today is the day I ended it - yet again. This time, it needs to stick. This article was exactly, exactly what I needed to read. Thank you so much for your time and thoughtfulness in its creation and sharing! Thank you for articulating in print what is difficult to find words for.. I am at the end of a 3yr battle with my Narc, and I gotta say, it nearly did me in. The lies, the stealing, the manipulation, the shame, the abuse, the isolating behaviour, the pain, the sorry's, the drama..

The damage.. My god.. The effort to deceive on every level.. It's exhausting even writing this! I didn't see myself as susceptible to a person like this. But that just makes them try harder to fell you. I read every word on this topic now to reinforce to myself that I'm not the only one who fell prey to one of these human parasites. It is heartening to know, that the light at the end of the tunnel is not always a freight train!

I thank you! I love this article. It has given me hope. I am only out of the relationship 4 days. He was physically and emotionally abusive. Here's praying that I can be as strong as you. The woman he left you for probably made a more pliable target. They look for partners they can control. No, I've dated here and there, but no serious relationships. Not because I don't want to, but because my focus is getting an online business off the ground.

Doing that around a full time job is hectic. The next relationship needs to be with someone who exhibits kindness and emotional stability. I'm not settling for less. I don't have time for the drama. I don't trust most people either. However, I've managed to spot red flags and eliminate people from my life before I get hooked.

Obsessing Over an Ex-Partner - Trauma Mind

It's really about me developing the ability to trust myself and my judgement Hi Wendy - great article! We all carpooled together - I know exactly what you mean when you say it felt like a soap opera moment! I have found it difficult to trust other people. And secondly, just out of curiosity, was yours a sociopath as well? I read this article with complete shock. I felt like it was describing me and what I've been through. I never thought my ex was a narcissist. Not until today. The way you defined it made so much sense.

Thank you for writing this beautiful healing article. It won't be the last time I read it. What an encouraging and inspiring read. Thank you so much. I am disentangling from a narcissistic relationship in which my role has been an excessive codependent. Life is really only just beginning as I do the healing work on myself.

Only once the athlete understands psychological load and is engaged in this process can the potential outcomes be viable and useful. Papers by the likes of Raysmith, Drew, Blanch and Gabbett demonstrate why it is so important to monitor and manage load. This research becomes an important part of our conversation with the elite and non elite athlete regarding psychological load. Notably, how it can tip the scales on injury and illness. Non elite populations additionally need to understand how crucial it is not to miss trainings.

When injuries are reduced, we ultimately create better performance, and the competitive mindset is satisfied that taking the foot off the pedal can be a step forward. The IOC papers focus very much on the elite end of sport. Here we see sophisticated monitoring of athlete well-being and suggestions on implementing resilience strategies and stress management skills. The first step to combating this silent injury risk is being aware, and having the conversation. The latter are quite possibly the most at risk due to their diminished support structure. I hope that these thoughts have helped to raise the relevance of the IOC papers beyond elite sport and into private clinics and sports medicine practices around the world.

Thank you to the BJSM blog team for letting me share my thoughts. With over 20 years of working with sports from indoor soccer to beach volleyball, pole dancing to water polo at all levels from local to international, Pete has a wealth of experience with managing sports injury and performance. JSAMS ;19 10 Charlton P, Drew MK. Can we think about training loads differently? Pamela has taken a holistic approach to divorce law. Although I was a child of divorce at the age of 9, experiencing divorce as an adult was devastating.

It was a humbling experience that moved me to a whole new level of compassion and understanding. Divorce gave me a much greater appreciation and understanding of my mother. I realize, as a single parent, my mother did the best she could with what she had and what she knew. Despite my parents divorce, I held onto the dream of getting married and living happily ever after.

I was determined to do things differently than my parents. I became intent on getting a college education in case I ever had to support myself and children. I decided I would wait until I was atleast in my mid-twenties before I got married, as I would be wiser and more mature! I was a picky dater and wanted to do whatever I could so that I never ended up divorced. So, how did all of that work out for me? Well, I graduated from college and married in my early thirties. When my children were very young my husband informed me he was not happy.

We tried counseling, he tried counseling and 11 months later he moved out. How could this be? My biggest fear had come upon me. I never wanted my children to have to experience divorce. For me, I was about to learn the long term effects my parents divorce had played in my own life. Participating in the Divorce Recovery group significantly helped me get through the divorce process.

Now a certified divorce coach, Shelley helps others going through the divorce process through private and group coaching sessions as well as local workshops. Visit her site A Hope Filled Future. Expert Speakers for the Divorced Parent Telesummit. One of the biggest challenges divorcing couples have is dealing with their ex-partner after the relationship ends. Finding your own sense of power and confidence when dealing with your ex-spouse is key to minimizing conflict, reducing stress and helping your children adjust to life after divorce. One simple phrase you can use to stop reacting negatively to your ex and difuse hidden emotional patterns that can rob you of your confidence and happiness.

Three strategies you can use right away to help you unplug from your ex so you can become a better parent to your children. This internationally acclaimed ebook provides an innovative new approach to breaking the divorce news to your children and setting the stage for positive parenting after divorce. Rosalind is recognized as the leading voice of Child-Centered Divorce. She helps families get through the struggle and put children first.

From diffusing conflict with the Difficult One to handling the questions all children seem to ask after divorce, Rosalind has proven strategies for you.


The most dangerous divorce mistakes parents make and how they can affect your children — today, tomorrow and for decades to come!